The Ultimate Title Search

April 8, 2009

magnifying-glassThe following was sent to me via email by a licensed title agent and I think it’s hilarious. But before I get to the funny stuff I should probably define “title search.” Not everyone reading this knows the term or definition and as a result might not get the humor.

According to Wikipedia a title search is is a process that is performed primarily to determine the answer to three questions:

  1. Does the seller have a saleable interest in the property?
  2. What kind of restrictions or allowances pertain to the use of the land (real covenants, easements, or other servitudes)?
  3. Do any liens exist on the property which need to be paid off at closing (mortgages, back taxes, mechanic’s liens, or other assessments)?

For the purpose of this post the above definition should suffice. Now on to the funny part…

The post office department at Washington, making a careful investigation of the titles to proposed post office sites in Louisiana, received proof of title as far back as 1803, but not satisfied, wrote for evidence as to prior titles… the attorney’s reply read as follows:

I note your comment upon the fact that the record of title sent you as applying to lands under consideration dates only from the year 1803, and your request for an extension of the record prior to that date.

Please be advised that the Government of the United States acquired the Territory of Louisiana, including the tract to which your inquiry applies, by purchase from the Government of France in the year 1803.

The Government of France acquired title by conquest from the Government of Spain, the Government of Spain acquired title by discovery of one Christopher Columbus, traveler and explorer, resident of Genoa, Italy, who had done so by agreement concerning the acquisition of title to any lands discovered, traveled, and explored under the sponsorship and patronage of her Majesty, the Queen of Spain.

The Queen of Spain had verified her arrangement and received sanction of her title by consent of the Pope, a resident of Rome, Italy, and ex-officio representative and vice-regent of one Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ was the son and Heir-apparent of God… God created Louisiana.

I trust this complies with your request

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